From UnAnything_Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search
Wario is a WANTED article!

This means it is among the best UnAnything has to offer! It has been WANTED as of February 2014! Treat it with respect! Go here to see all WANTED articles.



Gender: Male
Hair color: Black or Brown?
Eye color: Black
Species: Fat Human
Home: Mushroom Kingdom
Death: None
AKA: Smelly
Smelly, Ugly, AND Fat
Likes: Being a good guy
Dislikes: Not being evil
Education: He's stupid.
Occupation: Enemy of Mario
Known For: Thinking his is Mario after hitting his head
UnRank: 0

Cquote1.png I may be ugly, and smelly, and fat, but I am... ugly and smelly and fat. Cquote2.png
Wario, losing self esteem.

Wario (formerly Kim Jong-fat) is a hero who is the rival of Mario, the brother of Waluigi, the son of Kim Il-sung and the father of Kim Jong-il. He also eats lotsa garlic, which give him deadly farts. Because he smells so bad, no one likes him but Walugi, who is immune to his stench. He also has the superhuman ability known as Super Fat.

Wario was once considered the ugliest man alive, but they soon realized this was ridiculous, and there were much uglier people. So, he went for smelliest person alive. He entered the Smelliest Person Alive competition, and won second place. A really stinky guy won, so Wario captured him for ransom. Wario's IQ is unknown but Wario is smart. Wario has been shown to be a tycoon and has built a Teleporter in a matter of seconds.

Wario is also good at writing poetry, but nobody ever likes it because it is offensive. In fact, he was once chased by an angry mob because they hated his poetry so much. He decided to stop writing after that.

He is also part of the Supreme Golden Ace Invasion Organization and is the eighth boss to join chronologically.

Wario is the fourteenth member to join the Quintessential Elemental Emperor Invasion Organization in general chronologically and is the second member and admin in the Earth Group.



Wario is the son of Kim Il-sung. He was born Kim Jong-fat. His father wanted Jong-fat to live in Korea, a land he created. After smelling Wario for the first time, and putting him on a scale for the first time, Kim Il-sung declared Wario was not worthy to be his son, and banished him to the Mushroom Kingdom.

Honor and Hatred

Wario as a baby.

When Wario was born, he had an awesome mustache. This mustache brought him fame throughout the land! In fact, all of Mushroom Kingdom considered him a god! Well, not really. He just tells this to Anybody who will listen. That's actually what happened to Mario. Wario was some spoiled brat that was born shortly before Mario on July 5th, 1581.

Wario used to be a baby once, but he was an ugly baby. As an ugly baby, he was to be crowned as the king of ugliness! This is not an actual position, but Wario's parents weren't the smartest people ever. He was instead crowned "Wario", which is short for "Weak Mario". He was called this because Wario was born with a mustache, just like the "god" Mario was born with a few days after Wario. Wario's was jagged, so Nobody cared about Wario.

Wario spent the first few years of his life believing Mario to be his savior. He even had a poster of Mario hanging in his bedroom. For some time it was borderline obsession. Then when Wario was five years old, the king of Mushroom Kingdom had his mustache cut off by a Hyrulian spy. Mario was banished, and Wario was heartbroken. His supposed hero had become a supposed traitor for his mustache. Wario shaved his mustache and vowed revenge... at only five years old.

Hunting Mario

Wario posing for the camera. I think I'm going to be sick.

For the next fifteen years after Mario was banished, Wario spent countless hours attempting to hunt down the fallen plumber and finish him off. He started out where Mario used to live. He tied up Mario's parents and demanded to know where he was hiding. He even resorted to using methods of torture to get answers (such as making annoying noises and flicking rubber bands at them). He eventually decided they didn't know anything and he left.

Having no leads, he decided all he could do was start looking. He searched the entire street and couldn't find Mario anywhere! Wario had no idea how Mario could stay hidden so well. As Wario was such a loner, he didn't even know there was a world beyond the street they lived on. Eventually the police found him searching Somebody's house, and arrested him for breaking in.

Time in Jail

After being arrested, Wario didn't get a trial. This is because he was arrested in 1594, and they didn't have trials back then. He spent some time hanging out in prison, not sure what he was going to do now. While in prison, he met Daisy. He remained in prison for many decades until Daisy found the Sword of Epic. She promised to break him out if he started showering. She broke him out, but he did not keep his end of the deal.

Finding Mario

Wario displaying his unique intellect.

In 1646, sixty years after banishment, Mario returned to the Mushroom Kingdom. Wario had just gotten out of prison about 12 days, 42 hours, 100 minutes, and 76 seconds before. Hearing of this news made Wario go berserk. He started pounding his blubbery chest while screaming at the top of his lungs. He then charged at Mario and declared a sumo match.

Mario accepted the challenge. Wario attempted to body slam Mario, but Mario used a Starman. This made Mario temporarily invincible, and he beat the crap out of Wario. As per the terms of the fight, Wario was banished from Mushroom Kingdom for 50 years and five minutes. Wario left Mushroom Kingdom, but promised he would return.

Banishment and Travel

Wario left his home then he became the greatest Gym Leader.

Wario packed his bags, and traveled east. This was the first time he had ever left his home, and he had no idea where he was going. The fool eventually wandered right into Sparta. Master Chief and Leonidas confronted him, and they began to fight. Master Chief started shooting while Leonidas screamed "This is SPARTA!" OVER 9000 times. Wario simply crushed them with his fat and kept moving.

After a few years trying to hide from the 300, Wario made his way into the Squadala Empire. He met Squadala Man, and even shook hands with him. But Wario smelled so bad, Squadala Man sent the entire Squadala Army after Wario. Wario ran further east, but was being unknowingly followed by the Squadala Knight. Wario made it to the boarder of the Squadala Empire and China when the Knight attacked.

Wario and the Squadala Knight spent hours in a fierce duel. The Squadala Knight flailed his sword around like a three year old while Wario bounced around using his Super Fat abilities. The battle was long, but Wario eventually prevailed when he sat on the Squadala Knight. After this victory, Wario ran off to China before he could be followed. 

China and Korea

Wario doing a disturbing dance.

Wario moved to China where he lived a happy life for three years. He did not know how to speak Chinese, nor did he know how to use chopsticks. But somehow, he did well. But then a bunch of Chinese police guys knocked on his door. He was wanted for questioning about a gas attack that had taken place the previous day. He was brought in for questioning when a bunch of bad guys attacked the police. Wario's smell saved them all, and he was a hero in China.

Wario was given a position in Chinese government. He even learned how to use chopsticks (but not how to speak Chinese). But then his past caught up to him. The Mushroom Kingdom, Sparta, and the Squadala Empire all declared war on China because they were hiding Wario. Wario retreated to Korea, and the Korean War began. He found the Wa-Machine during this time, and put it to good use.

Despite being the sole reason the war started, Wario did no actual fighting in the war. He instead did a bunch of politician stuff that assured him power after the war ended. Due to his "clever plan", China gave him part of Korea. They actually did it because they wanted his smell out of China, but he thought it was because he outsmarted them.

Wario became the first president of North Korea. At this point, most had forgotten Wario had once been named "Kim Jong-fat". But Wario, despising his current name, remembered his old name very well. When he had his first and only son, he named him Kim Jong-il. He told Jong-il to rule North Korea because Wario had some unfinished business.

Return to Mushroom Kingdom

A documented photo of Wario attacking L023R with his stolen car.

It had been fifty years and five minutes since Wario had been banished from the Mushroom Kingdom. With his newly assembled Wa-Team and the entire North Korean army, he was ready to get revenge. He moved in on Mushroom Kingdom and demanded Mario to come out as his hostage. What they did not know was that Mario was in his 250 year hibernation.

Wario almost started a second war, but then Superman intervened. He used an Energy Blast to wipe out all of North Korea's army. He then beat up the Wa-Team and sent them hurtling into space. They floated through space for several years until they traveled through a wormhole that brought them to the 9th Dimension.

9th Dimension

Wario on the Throne of Lies.

Wario led the Wa-Team through this strange new environment. It was inhabited by primitive people with ancient technologies. Using their not-as-primitive brains and modern technology, the Wa-Team took over the entire 9th dimension. The WaGames had began.

Wario sat on the Throne of Lies for over two hundred years (literally, he didn't take a step for over two hundred years). He and the Wa-Team had built a portal that let them go between the 9th Dimension and the UnUniverse. It was not uncommon for the Wa-Team to show up, kidnap a bunch of guys, and bring them back to the 9th Dimension. That's when Giygas came through the portal, and right behind him was the great T-5001 himself.

Wario commanded all of his forces to attack the two, but it was hopeless. They were trying to defeat a god and an Undefeatable using a bunch of cavemen wielding spears. The Wa-Team was sent back through the portal, plummeting to the WaWorld. Wario now lives his life as a lowly janitor in some McDonald's bathroom.

WarioWare and Enslaving

Wario then was once watching some Youtube Poop, until an Ad for Dinner Blaster popped out of nowhere. This then inspired him to make WarioWare, Inc., but no one wanted to help him, so he called all of his friends in order to help him make some Shames, and It worked, so he enslaved all of them.

One day in 2013, a couple of his workers escaped, so he grabbed two random people off the streets and replaced them with those said workers. He then gained popularity, and got a ton of money, way more than his Janitor job.


Wario with lotsa food money.

Many assume that Wario is some greedy jerk that doesn't care about others and just wants the best for himself. These people are wrong. Wario is an extremely greedy jerk that hates others and wants better than the best for himself. Wario is also known for his tendency to stab his closest friends in the back (figuratively and literally) to make an extra UnDollar.

Wario also has no regard for personal hygiene, thinking it's a waste of time. He actually thinks a lot of things are a waste of time. If it doesn't give him money, he doesn't want to hear it. He is even rumored to rival Mr. Krabs in greed. Wario is also very fat. That has nothing to do with personality, but I like calling people fat.

Wario has 13 microgame$.


He commited suicide in 5001 because he was sad over Waluigi committing suicide.

Template:Supreme Golden Ace Invasion Organization membersTemplate:Quintessential Elemental Emperor Invasion Organization members