The King of Burgers

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The King of Burgers, ruler of Burger King!

The King of Burgers is a self-proclaimed king of all burgers. He is the founder of Burger King. Many believe that The King of Burgers is a delusional maniac that likes to stab people and sell them burgers. These people are right. The King of Burgers is currently in Hell selling burgers to people.

The King of Burgers was a wooden puppet that wanted to be a real boy. This didn't work out very well, so he went to Albert Einstein for advice. Einstein told him to open a burger shop or something, so he did. Burger King was instantly a success. It was so successful, he started opening Burger Kings in other countries. That's when he ended up in the Ducky Empire.

He was talking with Ducky to see if he could open a chain of Burger Kings in the Ducky Empire. Ducky said that the King could open all the Burger Kings he wanted... if he joined the Ducky Legion. The King of Burgers initially refused, but Ducky then promised to make him a real boy. The King of Burgers was deployed right away, for the Old War was raging on. The Burger King's first objective was to throw lotsa bombs at people. After seeing all the innocent blood and guts flying... he snapped. The King of Burgers had gone from slightly delusional to totally insane.

He stopped fighting and went back to operate Burger King. But this time he was different. Instead of threatening to stab customers, he actually stabbed them. Instead of spitting in the food, he poisoned it. And he randomly threatened people at gunpoint for "breathing his air". Then the Wise Ones descended upon him, and told him that once Burger King became the most popular restaurant in the world, he would indeed be a real boy. He fought bravely to achieve this goal. He egged McDonald's restaurants, he bought advertisements in Japan, he was sponsored by Nintendo, and he even started a war.

Once Ronald McDonald had enough, he pulled out a Shotgun and shot the King of Burgers to pieces. The irony? The King of Burgers was a real boy this whole time. Being a puppet was just part of his delusion. He was sent to Hell just like a real boy. He thought this meant he had succeeded in making the best burger restaurant, but he's just stupid.