|Godzilla is a WANTED article!|
Godzilla is an obese lizard that likes destroying Tokyo for some reason. He is believed to be a dinosaur that was frozen in ice for several billion years. He was melted because certain morons invented global warming. He now gets his revenge by eating people. Nobody knows why he only attacks Tokyo. We are still trying to figure out why.
Godzilla was first sighted about three billion years ago. We know this because some stupid cave man drew a picture of him on a wall. This cave man's mom then yelled at him for drawing on the wall. We know this because the mom drew a picture of her son drawing a picture on the wall. Godzilla was not spotted again until very recently.
Godzilla, being the idiot he is, got himself trapped in an oversized block of ice for billions of years. We were nice enough to melt him out, but he thinks we woke him up, which is rude. That is why he attacks us so often. They even made a movie about him, but it stars King Kong and Homer Simpson for some reason.
Godzilla was offended by this movie, so he marched into Hollywood, and threatened to sue. They liked his attitude, and they made a new movie. Godzilla spent several years as a movie star, just because he was bored with attacking Tokyo. However, when he realized the people in Tokyo had forgotten about him, he got mad, and attacked their city. Hollywood kicked him out, and made another crappy movie about him, this time starring Luigi and Tails.
One morning, while Godzilla was taking a coffee break, Batman randomly walked up. Then, he threw a bat-grenade at Godzilla just to be a jerk. The two then fought, which eventually led to The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny. He was severely injured by good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see.
He was shipped up to the Death Egg, where Dr. Robotnik promised him life support in turn for the publicity of having Godzilla in his HQ. Godzilla remained on the Death Egg for several years. When it was nearing completion, Super Sonic and Super Shadow teamed up to destroy it. Chuck Norris decided to revoke Godzilla's undefeatable rights at this point, and Godzilla was killed by Super Sonic and Super Shadow.
- Godzilla's species is named after himself.
- According to Cave Johnson, it doesn't matter where you hatch a nest of godzillas as they make a beeline straight for Tokyo.
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